You're confusing the issue that you have. From what you describe, you worked in an environment that is simply toxic to you.
I think you need to write down the things that you want in a job, wait a few days, and see if those things still make sense. Then figure out how you are going to get a job where you can have those things.
I've worked in small companies, fortune 500 and government. My satisfaction at these jobs had/has very little to do with the type of organization. It's a combination of the culture of the organization, quality of management, and where you are in life. The things I loved about working in a late stage startup at 21 are things that I would hate today as a 33 year old father.
You need to find the right role. You can even find gigs in government with a fast pace and minimal bureaucratic nonsense or hardcore operations roles that demand overtime and pagers.
I think you need to write down the things that you want in a job, wait a few days, and see if those things still make sense. Then figure out how you are going to get a job where you can have those things.
I've worked in small companies, fortune 500 and government. My satisfaction at these jobs had/has very little to do with the type of organization. It's a combination of the culture of the organization, quality of management, and where you are in life. The things I loved about working in a late stage startup at 21 are things that I would hate today as a 33 year old father.
You need to find the right role. You can even find gigs in government with a fast pace and minimal bureaucratic nonsense or hardcore operations roles that demand overtime and pagers.