I relate to her, and I'm gradually getting over it - but my mindset since I was a child was the only currency that I had an endless supply of was suffering. If I didn't have the money to do something for someone, or to do good in the world, I could spend convenience, time to sleep, comfort, health, or opportunities. I still feel that way, because it's true, but I also feel like I am worth as much as anyone else, and that good done for the selfish is usually at best neutral but probably bad, so that moderates my self-sacrifice. It allows me to narrow my focus to people and ideas that are net goods, and not to hurt myself to help people into a better situation than I am currently in.

A nice effect is that I end up maintaining the resources to help people who are worth helping without getting to the point where I'm spending suffering. It's really an accounting problem. If I suffer to death helping selfish people, think about all of the good people that I'm going to miss out on helping. I may end up sacrificing myself and still having a bad net effect in the world.