You mean?

  certbot --nginx

You are missing the steps to install, setup, cronjob, for certbot.

What about HTTP->HTTPS redirection, etc?

Same for secure cipher selection.

All of that Caddy gives you in 1 line of config (i.e. domain name)

Funny you mention those because the line above automatically adds all those for you including https redir for all your vhosts.

The biggest thing you miss is that nginx doesn't do all this for you, you have to install a 3rd party thing to manage it.

If we allow your example, then caddy wins hands down because it also makes me rich because it fronts the websites that make me money.

But that would be ridiculous thing to claim Caddy does, because it doesn't do that itself.

While I understand your point, installing certbot isn't onerous at all and this is a strange thing to be arguing about.