I'd go with something along the lines of: "I'm looking for a company where I can show up and work hard during the day, and go home to my family at night. Will that fit the culture here?"
Oh god, that can’t be something anyone can get away with asking. I don’t have a family of my own, but I’m tempted to just fabricate one so I could actually ask something along the lines of what you are suggesting.
‘I have a family, how do you guys adjust cadence for people with outside commitments - eg let’s say I need to leave every day at 5’.
Gah, there’s no way to ask without setting off the alarm bells with these bastards.
> how do you guys adjust cadence for people with outside commitments - eg let’s say I need to leave every day at 5
This is actually the problematic mindset I'm trying to avoid. I don't want to work at a place where leaving at 5 is "adjusting cadence." I want to work at a place where management sets appropriate timelines, and we work hard to meet those timelines -- during the work day. The company I work for right now has a culture of work hard 9-5 then disappear. It's great.
I'm a 23 year old software engineer and I ask this question on every single interview. It doesn't matter that I don't have kids and don't have to go to bed early every night. I have a life unrelated to my job, and I act in the belief that everyone else also does.
I can't say for certain whether that's cost me a job before, but I'm also probably not missing much if that's the case.
I'm not a dev but the last time I got hired (current gig) I straight-up told them that I'm expensive and creativity is time-consuming. It went over well! You might be surprised at how much bluntness hiring managers can take.
The key thing is really BATNA because that gives you the confidence to say what you've gotta say.
You might be surprised, I often lead with an ambiguous "so, how's the work life balance here?" and more often than not interviewers jump in with a fair amount of info and sometimes even "knowing smiles". I don't interview with startups though, so ymmv.
Gah, there’s no way to ask without setting off the alarm bells with these bastards.
That strikes me as a good indicator that you probably don't want to work there. Why is it unreasonable to ask if you are regularly expected to work more than 40 hours per week?
If that doesn't go in, well probably it isn't a company that respect my values anyway, and unless I am in trouble of needing a job right in the moment, well there are other opportunities.
