I think you are saying the author should be a bit more alpha-male and partly I agree. Though not particularly alpha-male myself, I would have handled the first situtation better by instinctively out-arseholeing the arsehole.
But I would not handle all such social situations so quickly or confidently. And sometimes the moments I miss are opportunities to be nice. The point being that moving along a personality dimension can't replace a missing skill, though it can partially amelirate the effects.
Having gone through a process similar to what the author of the article did, the problem is that it's more complicated than "merely" being a bit more alpha-male.
The problem is getting past freezing up. It's hard because it was my brain's innate reaction all through my young adult years, so I had to put a lot of time and energy into rewiring it to not freeze up first.
Once I could get past freezing up, I could practice ways to stay rational in emotionally charged situations, which in turn allowed me to learn how to defuse situations better. With more practice, I was able to manage the same situations with a strong sense of principle. That in turn let me say "no" in a way where people consistently respected my answer.
But that was a 5 year journey filled with unpleasant moments.
But I would not handle all such social situations so quickly or confidently. And sometimes the moments I miss are opportunities to be nice. The point being that moving along a personality dimension can't replace a missing skill, though it can partially amelirate the effects.